


Feral - ficlets

by devo79



Series: Feral [4]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 17:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devo79/pseuds/devo79





	1. Promise

It felt mind numbingly good. Xander was certain that if this started feeling any better he would just pass out. Maybe even go into a coma. Every nerve ending in his body curled up in a gibbering mess whenever those pale strong hands brushed over his skin.

Spike was panting in his ear. Xander wasn’t paying attention to the words. He already knew the words. He only paid attention to their meaning.

Safe. Loved. Needed.

Xander had never had anything like that before...before Spike. Had never felt loved like that. And it had taken months and months for him to accept it. That he was worthy. He had sold himself far too many times to accept that such a thing as love even existed…

“Xander?”

What if he didn’t really deserve it? What if it was just some cruel joke?

“Xander, pet?”

Xander opened his eyes and looked up at Spike. Spike was smiling and running his fingers through Xander’s hair.

“Spike? Why…why did you stop?” Xander slowly stretched under the blond vampire.

“Thinking too much,” was Spike’s only answer.

“What’re you thinking about?” Xander asked.

“Not me, ya git! You!” Spike kissed Xander’s forehead and frowned “Isn’t very flattering, ya know. Me doing all the work while you lay around thinking,” he snorted.

“Sorry…I…sorry,” Xander looked away.

“Know we haven’t done this for long…know ya needed…” Spike gently rolled off and curled up next to the younger man “…Know you needed time.”

“It’s not this,” Xander indicated the way they were cuddling “It’s never this.”

“Then what?” Spike propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Xander.

“I…I’m always waiting.”

“Waiting?” Spike caressed Xander’s hip.

“Waiting for the other shoe to drop…Waiting for this to end…Waiting for you to get bored.”

Spike sat up and looked angry “Ain’t no other shoe! Ain’t ending this. Ain’t getting bored.”

Xander just nodded but Spike persisted “Look at me!” he waited until Xander complied “You listen an’ you listen good, yeah?” Xander nodded and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Me an’ you…it isn’t ending, Xander.” Spike seemed desperate to explain. Desperate for Xander to understand.

“But before…”

 

“No! Xander, no before. No others…no one. Just you an’ me. Simple,” Spike pulled Xander close and kissed him. “Now I remember me making a promise. Ya remember?”

“Promised to make me curl my toes and go blind,” Xander murmured with a small smile.

“You blind?” Xander shook his head, Spike sighed “Well better get back to it then.”

“Yeah,” Xander said his voice hitching “Better.”


	2. Not some cheesy gay porn movie

Sex with Spike wasn’t some cheesy gay porn movie.

No bad music playing in the background. No horribly bad dialog. No plumber needing to fix the pipes. No young virgin giving himself to an older more experienced man.

No corny begging. No Please, please. Uhhhhhh. Harder. Deeper. Faster. Certainly no Please let me cum. The whole point with sex was to reach that goal. Why the hell would they want to wait for permission?

Spike had never said God, you’re so tight. Neither had Xander. And who the hell said that kind of shit anyway?

There was the occasional Oh God. There was panting and hard breathing and if the Hyena joined them whimpering and growling. But most important of all was the laughter.

They laughed because sex was fun and silly and often ridiculous. Like that time Spike attempted to pounce on Xander and misjudged the angle and ended up bouncing off the bed and on to the floor. God Xander had laughed until his ribs ached.

They didn’t use nicknames. Well apart from pet. But Spike called everybody pet. And he wasn’t having sex with everybody. He better not!

Spike had called the Hyena Poogle Snuggle Butt Muffin once and only once. Spike apparently didn’t like being punched in the gut.

Xander had never made a long and eloquent declaration of love. He had told Spike he loved him. Apart from that he just showed him. Spike was eloquent but mostly used his ability to piss people off.

Sometimes, but very rarely, sex was almost painful. Sometimes that was what they needed.

Feral and rough.

They were mostly quiet. Jonathan and Beth were sleeping in the adjoining room a few feet away. Xander wasn’t really keen on re-enacting the Oh-shit-Beth-is-standing-in-the-door-watching incident ever ever again.

Spike loved to cuddle. He was big on cuddling. Xander didn’t mind. They would both just curl up around each other afterwards enjoying the silence. It had become a rare luxury. With two four year old kids running around you learned to cherish those small pockets of calm and quiet.

They never woke up and had morning sex. Spike never woke Xander up with a nice blow job. In stead they woke up with two hyper-energized kids hopping around in their bed demanding attention.

Sex with Spike wasn’t some cheesy gay porn movie. Thank God!


	3. Bedtime Stories or Oi! We don’t sleep in coffins!

“Off ta bed ya little beasts!” Spike mock growled. Beth giggled and hid behind the couch. Angel looked up from his wrestle match with Jonathan.

“Yeah, better do as Mummy tells you.” the older vampire smirked.

“Oi!” Spike pointed a finger at Angel and was about to tell him exactly what he could go do when Xander came in from the kitchen. Beth ran over to her daddy.

“Daddy I’m not sleepy,” she yawned.

“Yeah I can see that,” Xander ruffled her blond curls and looked over at Jonathan “And you mister? Not sleepy either?” Jonathan looked at Angel and made a small yipping noise. “You can play with Angel tomorrow, Jonathan.” Xander said and picked Beth up. And if she snuggled closer to her daddy and if she rested her head on his shoulder it wasn’t because she was tired. No, she just liked snuggling.

“Story!” The sleepy little girl demanded. Jonathan yipped in agreement.

“But only one,” Xander said certain he’d be telling stories for the next hour or so.

“Can Angel come listen too?” Beth asked smiling at Angel.

“Sure. If he wants to,” Xander said and tried to ignore Spike snorting in the background.

“Please Angel come listen,” when Angel didn’t answer immediately Beth used her secret weapon Big-brown-puppy-dog-eyes. Angel shifted uncomfortably and finally sighed and nodded.

\--------------------------------------------------

“So what do you want to hear?” Xander asked as he sat squished between the two kids on the big bed Beth and Jonathan shared. Spike was leaning against the wall and Angel was sitting on the only available chair, a small kid sized pink chair with a picture of Cinderella on the seat. The Master Vampire looked a bit disconcerted.

“Something classical,” Spike said, making Angel quirk an eyebrow.

“Um…okay yeah I think I have one of those up my sleeve,” Xander said and got more comfortable. Beth cuddled closer to her daddy and held her Mister Fang close. A loud squeak from Jonathan’s direction meant he was holding on to his Mon-Monkey.

“Okay…um…the story is called Beth and the three vamps,” Xander began ”Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Beth. She went for a walk in LA. Soon, she came upon a hotel. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.” Xander looked up when he heard Spike chuckle and then continued.

”At the table in the big kitchen, there were three mugs of blood. Beth was very hungry. She tasted the blood from the first mug. ’Ewww this is pig’s blood!’ she said. So, she tasted the blood from the second mug. ’This blood is too cold,’ she said. Finally, she tasted the last mug of blood. ’Ahhh, this blood is just right,’ she said happily and she drank it all up.

After she'd eaten the three vamps’ breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Beth sat in the first chair to rest her feet. ’This chair is too big and the hard wood is hurting my bottom!’ she exclaimed.”

”’S better to brood in,” Spike interrupted. Angel just glared at him.

”So…” Xander continued in an effort to make Spike shut up. ” So she sat in the second chair. ’This chair is too big,!’ she whined. So she tried the last and smallest chair. ’Ahhh, this chair is just right,’ she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!”

”Probably bought at Goodwill,” Angel sniggered but shut up when Xander growled at him. Beth and Jonathan giggled. Xander pulled the kids closer.

”Beth was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. But there were no beds only three coffins”

”Oi! We don’t sleep in coffins!” Spike huffed.

”She lay down..." Xander said, his voice a little louder than before ”in the first coffin, but it was too hard and had no pillow or blanket in it.”

”Broody git,” Spike whispered and Angel growled at him.

”Then she lay in the second coffin, but it was too soft. There were just too many pillows and blankets. Then she lay down in the third coffin and it was just right. Beth fell asleep,” Beth sighed contently and Jonathan wriggled around under the covers. 

”As she was sleeping, the three vamps came home. ’Someone's been drinking my blood, I probably deserve it’ whined the Oldest vamp and sat down to torture himself.  
’Oi, Bloody hell! Someone's been drinking my blood,’ said the Blond vamp.  
’Someone's been drinking my blood and they ate up all my Twinkies!" cried the Prettiest vamp.”

”Hey!” Angel and Spike protested. Xander just laughed and carried on with the story.

”’Someone's been sitting in my chair,’ growled the Oldest vamp.  
’Some git’s been sitting in my chair, bleeding idiot!’ said the Blond vamp.  
’Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces,’ cried the Prettiest vamp.”

”Bloody hell!” Spike groaned.

”They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, the Oldest vamp growled, ’Someone's been sleeping in my coffin,’  
’Someone's been sleeping in my coffin, too. They better not have messed up the sheets’ said the Mama…” Spike growled dangerously ”Sorry…Blond vamp,” Xander corrected. ”’Someone's been sleeping in my coffin and she's still there!’ exclaimed the Prettiest vamp. Just then, Beth woke up and saw the three vamps. She screamed, ’Help!’”

”But,” Spike interrupted despite Xander’s clearly unhappy expression. ”The three vamps needed someone to make ’em happy and they asked the little bit to come live with ’em,” Spike said.

”Yes, and she brought her brother along. And they all lived in the big hotel,” Xander smiled.

Xander got up and pulled the covers tight around the two sleeping kids. Angel was the last to leave the room and just as he closed the door he whispered

”And they all lived happily ever after.”


	4. Living with monsters

“He’s been awful quiet since Graham went back home,” Angel said and looked over at Jonathan. The little boy was playing with a small yellow plastic dinosaur. Usually he would be yipping and laughing, he even said the occasional word now, but for the past month or so he had seemed sad.

“Yeah,” Spike said and looked down at his son “Xander says he has nightmares…”

\----------------------------------------------------

Bath time normally meant that Xander was just as wet as the kids when he finally finished the task. But tonight, Beth had only played a little with the bubbles and then she had just sat there looking at Jonathan. The boy had barely moved and only once let his fingers run through the blanket of bubbles covering the water.

Xander helped both children get out of the tub.

“Oh. I forgot your PJ’s,” Xander said and got up “Wanna come with me and go get them, Beth?”

“Okay,” Beth mumbled, pulling the white towel closer and followed her daddy.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Do you know why Jonathan is so quiet?” Xander asked his daughter as he looked for some clean underwear. “You want to have the My Little Pony ones or the Disney Cinderella ones?” Xander asked and held up the options.

“Pony,” Beth said and sat down on her daddy’s and Spike’s bed. “He’s sad,” the little girl mumbled “He don’t wanna play or anything.”

“Do you know why he’s sad, Honey?” Xander crouched down in front of Beth. The little girl, wrapped in a huge towel, shook her head and looked like she was going to cry.

“Maybe he doesn’t like me…” she sobbed.

“No, Sweety.” Xander said and pushed wet blond curls out of Beth’s eyes. “Jonathan loves you just like Daddy and Spike love you.”

“And Angel?” Beth asked hopefully.

“And Angel and Fred and Cordy, not to forget Gunn or Wesley or Buffy, Dawn, Graham or Giles,” Xander said counting them off on his fingers. “They all love you…Tell you what. You go get dressed in your room and I’ll go talk to Jonathan, okay?”

Beth nodded, took the clothes Xander had put on the bed, and walked out of the bedroom.

\------------------------------------------------

Xander stopped moving when he looked into the bathroom. Jonathan was standing precariously on a blue step stool. The little boy was intently trying to look at himself in the mirror. He stood on tiptoe, reached out and wiped some of the steam off the mirror and just stood there staring.

Xander held his breath. Jonathan reached out and touched his reflexion’s forehead and then his own. Let his fingers follow the permanent ridges and then he opened his mouth and showed his teeth. Jonathan cautiously pushed the tip of his index finger against his pointy canines. Finally Jonathan put his hand over the top of his face, hiding his forehead.

“Hey, Jonathan.” Xander said and walked up behind the little boy. They both looked at their reflexions. Xander towering over Jonathan. Both dark-haired and looking slightly lost. Jonathan reached out and touched his reflexion’s forehead and growled

“Ugly.”

Xander shook his head. His eyes meeting Jonathan’s in the mirror. “No, Honey. Not ugly, never ugly.”

But the little boy just climbed down his step stool and walked out into the hallway leaving Xander alone and heartbroken in the bathroom.

\----------------------------------------------

Xander was working in one of the unused hotel rooms. Graham had asked if he could spend the summer with them. Xander wanted to surprise him with a room that would be the soldier’s permanent home at the hotel. He was so preoccupied with the task of repairing the build-in closet, that he didn’t notice Jonathan steal a piece of sandpaper.

A hour or so passed.

The build-in closet turned out to need a lot more work than Xander had anticipated. He didn’t stop before he heard someone crying. He sat up. Angel and Spike were out investigating some kind of haunted house, the girls were out and Wesley and Gunn were training in the basement. He put the tools away and followed the sound.

\-------------------------------------------

Xander felt like throwing up. Jonathan was standing on his step stool in front of the bathroom mirror, fingers holding a bloodied piece of sandpaper. Blood was running down the little boy’s face from the small cuts and scrapes on his forehead.

“Oh God, Jonathan.” Xander finally managed to gasp before he snatched the sandpaper away and threw it on the floor. Jonathan was crying but kept rubbing his bloodstained fingers against the ridges on his forehead.

“Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly,” the little boy chanted. Xander found a cloth and started washing the blood away. He was crying as well, his eyes blurry with angry tears.

\------------------------------------------

“What the bloody hell happened ta Jonathan’s face?” Spike hissed when he entered the children’s room wanting to kiss them goodnight. Xander was sitting on the floor next to the bed, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the little boy’s tummy.

“Shhhh, he just fell asleep.” Xander said when Angel entered the room as well.

“Why is he all bandaged up, Xander.” Angel whispered and pointed to the white bandage, Wesley had helped wrap it around the boy’s head, covering the damaged ridges.

\------------------------------------------

“He said he was ugly,” Xander said and closed his eyes. “I wanted to talk to you guys about it tonight but then…then he stole a piece of sandpaper and started…he tried to get rid of his ridges.”

“Fuck!” Angel said “He never seemed to have a problem with it before.”

“I called Graham,” Xander rubbed his eyes “He said Jonathan had been very focused on the differences between him and Graham…But Graham didn’t really think too much about it.”

“He’s getting older now, ain’t he.” Spike said “He’s starting ta notice what the rest of us look like…you and me…” Spike said and pointed at Angel “We stay in our human faces unless we’re fighting some demon.”

“Maybe that’s the solution,” Xander said and looked at the two vampires.

\---------------------------------------------

“Time ta wake up, Jonathan.”

Jonathan curled up under his covers. He didn’t want to get up. Beth was giggling like mad and Jonathan couldn’t help it. He needed to see why she was so happy.

“That’s right, pet. You open those pretty eyes,” Jonathan did as he was told and looked straight into Spike’s game face. “Time ta get up and get some food in that tummy of yours…” Spike turned to the giggling Beth “That goes for you as well, little lady.”

Spike walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Jonathan and a smiling Beth behind him.

\----------------------------------------

Jonathan’s eyes were big when he sat down at the kitchen table. Nobody seemed to notice that both Spike and Angel were showing their ridges and fangs.

The little boy’s eyes went from one grown up to another. Fred and Cordy were talking about food. Gunn was teasing Wesley because the street fighter had won their sparring match the night before.

Daddy and Spike were just whispering together in that way they had and Angel was smiling straight at Jonathan. Yellow eyes locking with dark brown gold highlighted ones.

“Eat your toast, kid.” Angel snarled through his fangs.

\-----------------------------------------

Jonathan was standing in front of the mirror. Angel was standing behind him. Jonathan couldn’t see the large man’s reflexion. Big fingers unwrapping the bandage, revealing almost healed ridges.

“See.” Angel said through his fangs “Almost as good as new.” Those big fingers gently touched the healed ridges and Angel bent down a bit until his face was next to Jonathan’s. He was still alone in the mirror. “Better brush those fangs or they’ll never get big and strong like Spike’s.” Angel said.

“You?” Jonathan asked and turned so he could see the vampire.

“Me?” Angel frowned, making the ridges even more noticeable “You want me to brush my fangs?”

Jonathan nodded and ran out of the room only to stumble back in with Angel’s own toothbrush.

“Sure, why not.” Angel said.

\----------------------------------------

“Awww, ain’t that cute?” Fred whispered to Cordy.

The two women were looking through the bathroom door. Angel and Jonathan had their mouths full of toothpaste bubbles and Jonathan was snarling at his own reflexion in an attempt to better see if he was brushing all of his teeth.

Angel looked up and noticed the two women. He smiled and a bit of tooth paste dribbled down on his black silk shirt.


	5. Naughty or Nice

“It’s hanging a little crooked,” Jessica said and pointed up at the row of Christmas lights hanging on the wall in the lobby.

“Where?” Tony asked and tilted his head a little to the side, “Looks fine from here.”

“There,” she said and rolled her eyes when Tony just tilted his head to the other side.

“I see it, Mom,” Xander moved the stepladder over to the offending lights.

“Grandpa?” a sleepy voice said from behind Tony. He turned around and looked down at Beth. She was hugging her thick pink blanket. Behind her Jonathan came dragging his blanket over the floor. His eyes were half shut and his shoulders slumped.

“Well, you look tired,” Jessica said and smiled down at the kids. Beth just shrugged and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. Jonathan growled sleepily.

“Shouldn’t the two of you be in bed?” Tony asked over his shoulder as he handed Xander the hammer.

“Santa’s coming,” Beth said and yawned, “Gotta be there when Santa comes.” Jonathan grabbed Beth by the sleeve of her pyjama shirt, yipped and looked up at the ceiling.

Tony turned his full attention to the two children, “What wrong, pal?” he asked and looked at the little boy. Jonathan whined and pointed up at the ceiling.

“He wants to know how’s Santa gonna come in here?” Beth answered with a frown as she looked at Xander hanging a decoration shaped like a reindeer up on the wall.

“We already talked about that,” Xander said as he stretched to hang the last of the lights over the reindeer.

Jonathan started babbling and growling, “No…hole,” his voice sounded gruff, his vocal cords not really built for speech.

“Hole?” Tony looked at his wife.

“Do you mean chimney, Sweety?” Jessica asked Jonathan.

The little boy nodded, “No chim.”

“There’s a fireplace in one of the bigger rooms upstairs,” Xander said as he crawled down the stepladder and started picking up the tools.

“But what if he can’t find us?” Beth asked nervously.

“You already sent him a map of the hotel and a picture of your room,” Xander brushed his hands off in his jeans, “I’m sure he’ll find it just fine.”

Beth and Jonathan looked uncertainly at each other.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Finally,” Spike pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table, “They’re asleep.”

Xander walked over to the kitchen counter and pulled out two mugs. He filled one of them with blood and put it in the microwave oven.

“Yeah,” Xander grinned and poured a little cold blood in the other mug and topped it off with coffee, “Only took three stories, one song and five reassurances that Santa really can find the Hyperion.”

“Bloody big lump of a building,” Spike took the mug of blood Xander handed him, “Even an old geezer like Santa should be able to find it.”

“And what is it with their fascination with Santa Claus is Coming to Town?” Angel asked as he entered the kitchen, a crossbow in his hands.

“Going hunting?” Spike asked and nodded at the crossbow.

“It’s Gunn’s Christmas present,” Angel said and put the weapon down on the kitchen table.

“A crossbow?” Xander asked, “That’s really a present that represents the spirit of Christmas.”

“It’s what he asked for,” Angel mumbled, “I bought it for Cordy. She’s giving it to him.”

“Right,” Xander said and took a gulp of his bloody coffee to conceal his grin.

\------------------------------------------------

“It’s really nice,” Jessica said and crawled under the covers.

“What is?” Tony asked sleepily.

“Being here for Christmas,” Jessica said.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, “Even if they’re the weirdest bunch of people I’ve ever spent time with…”

“I really like Spike,” she whispered, “I think he’s good for Xander.”

“You would,” Tony snorted.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Jessica sat up and turned on the bedside lamp.

“Oh come on, Jessica,” Tony said teasingly as he blinked against the sudden light coming from the lamp, “He’s a charmer. Could probably charm the pants of your mother.”

“My mother is dead,” Jessica reminded her husband.

“I rest my case,” Tony said solemnly.

“Really sometime…” Jessica started laughing.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“Jon?” Beth whispered from underneath her pink blanket.

“Mmmmm,” came the sleepy answer from her brother.

“You think you’ve been nice?” Beth asked nervously.

She could hear the covers rustle as Jonathan sat up in his bed. The nightlight made the room just light enough for her to see him turn his golden brown eyes in her direction.

“Been nice,” he growled and pointed up at the wall next to his bed. Even if Beth couldn’t see it, she knew he was pointing at the small poster with Jonathan’s name on it and a bunch of star stickers. One for every day since Thanksgiving he’d behaved himself.

“I’m not talking about being Daddy nice,” Beth continued.

“Nice,” Jonathan persisted and stabbed a finger at the poster.

“That’s being Daddy nice,” Beth tried to explain, “Being Santa nice is much harder.”

“Santa?” Jonathan crawled out of his bed and walked over to Beth’s, she scooted back a little.

“Yeah, like in the song,” she said as he crawled into her bed.

“Better out,” Jonathan quoted.

“Yeah, better watch out, cause he can see everything. He’s got eyes even better than Daddy or Spike or Angel,” Beth whispered and Jonathan cuddled closer.

“List,” Jonathan whined.

“He’s looking and seeing all this stuff Daddy don’t see, and he writes it down cause Santa’s old and he forgets stuff,” Beth pulled the blanket over their heads.

“Not naughty,” Jonathan shook his head in the darkness beneath the blanket.

“You did that thing with the paint,” she reminded him, Jonathan gasped, “And Santa saw it too.”

“No whoosh?!” Jonathan asked frightened.

“No lightsaber like Skywalker,” Beth nodded.

“Want whoosh,” Jonathan sounded close to panicking, “Like Walker.”

“But you're not gonna get it,” Beth said, “Cause being Daddy nice isn’t like Santa nice.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Santa hummed, patted Prancer’s back and pulled his sack of toys out of the sleigh. Comet snorted and shook his head a little, making the bells jingle.

”Yes, yes,” Santa laughed heartily, ”Last stop before we can go home and rest.” He looked down at the list in his hand and smiled, ”Seems there’s a little boy and a little girl waiting for their presents.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

”Shhhh,” Beth put her index finger over Jonathan’s lips, ”He’ll hear you.”

Jonathan nodded and stopped whining. In stead he grabbed the rope laying limply across the hallway floor. The other end was tied to a radiator. He looked back at his sister and waited for the signal.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

”Could use a little cleaning, that chimney,” Santa said as he dusted his red suit off after coming down the old unused chimney.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Beth’s fingers clenched around Jonathan’s shoulder as she held up her other hand, ready to give the signal.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

”Good thing they sent me a map of this place,” Santa mumbled and absentmindedly pulled a little on a few strands of the white beard, ”So many rooms.”

He walked down the dark hallway, the sack filled with toys over his shoulder.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Beth gave the signal. Jonathan pulled the rope so it was tightly hanging only a few inches above the floor in the hallway and then they waited.

\-------------------------------------------------------

”Seems it’s just around that corner…umph!?” Santa felt the floor disappear from under his feet as he fell forward. He distantly heard his sack of toys hit the floor with a muffled thump.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Tony woke up and turned over on his side. He needed to pee.

”Damn bladder. I’m getting old,” he scratched his cheek and tried to ignore it. Jessica mumbled something in her sleep and pushed her cold feet against his calves.

”Should think she was the dead one in the family,” Tony mumbled as he found his slippers and walked over to the door. He fumbled around for a few seconds before he found the door handle. He silently opened the door and tiptoed out.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Santa woke up with his hands tied behind his back and what seemed to be a pair of rolled up socks stuffed in his mouth.

“Not nice,” he heard someone mumble.

“Shhhh,” someone else said quietly, “We just need to explain.”

“No whoosh,” the first voice sounded sad.

“Might still get a lightsaber,” the second voice said.

“Not nice,” Santa felt small hands pull at the rope around his hands.

“But how’re we ’pose to make him listen if we don’t make him stay?!”

“Not Santa nice,” the first voice pointed out, “Not Daddy nice.”

“Oh…” the second voice sounded defeated, “You think we should let him go?”

“Uh huh,” small hands tried to untie the rope.

“You’re really good at tying knots, Jonathan.”

“Beth too,” the voice that apparently belonged to Jonathan said.

“Thanks. We’re gonna need to cut them with the grown up scissors,” Beth said.

“Only Daddy,” Jonathan said.

“But this is special and we can’t go tell Daddy,” Beth said, “He’ll get mad.”

“Grown scissors,” Jonathan agreed and the two children left Santa mumbling frantically behind the gag.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Tony walked down the hallway. He had only turned on the small lamps hanging on the hallway walls. The ones in the ceiling were far too bright, but even the golden glow from the small lamps made him squint his eyes half closed.

“Oh hey there, Santa,” he said as he walked past the fat man in a red suit, who was tied up and gagged. Tony kept walking for a few steps and had his hand on the door to the bathroom when he stopped and stood very still.

He slowly turned his head and looked over at the man who was positioned on his stomach with his hands tied behind his back.

“Holy crap,” Tony squeaked.

“Mhphmmmhuph,” Santa said.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Let me carry ‘em,” Beth walked up the stairs with the scissors in her hands.

“’M bigger,” Jonathan glared at her.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m really really sorry,” Tony kept repeating as he untied Santa. The second Santa had his arms free he ripped the socks out of his mouth and pointed a shaking finger at Tony.

“M-Monsters, tiny monsters,” Santa managed to stutter.

“I’m sure they didn’t mean to…” Tony began.

“Make me fall over a trip wire, make me fall and knock my head so hard I fainted, tie me up and gag me with socks?!” Santa slowly got up.

“Well…um…” Tony tried.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh no,” Beth said as she came around the corner and saw her grandfather and Santa standing in the hallway.

“Body ‘ell,” Jonathan whined and took a step back.

“You,” Santa said and looked at the two kids.

“No whoosh now,” Jonathan sighed and walked over to Santa with his shoulders slumped.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“So let me get this straight,” Tony said and looked at his grandchildren. Beth and Jonathan were sitting at the kitchen table, their eyes firmly focused on the scratched tabletop.

“You wanted to explain to Santa,” Tony pointed at the man sitting in the chair next to him, “You wanted to tell him that the thing with the paint, and I still don’t know what happened with the paint, but anyway, you wanted to tell him it wasn’t on purpose.”

Beth and Jonathan nodded but still didn’t look up.

“Look the thing with the paint was an accident,” Santa said and rubbed his nose, “I had the both of you on my nice list.”

Beth looked up and smiled, “Really?”

“Really,” Santa nodded.

“Not Santa nice,” Jonathan said, his eyes locked on a deep scratch in the tabletop.

“Well…” Tony hesitated, “You went a little far with the trap and everything.”

“I’d say,” Santa mumbled and looked down at the red burn marks from the rope on his wrist, “But…” Santa reached over and patted Jonathan’s hair, “You didn’t mean for it to get out of hand…and this is the time to forgive and all…Sooo,” Santa smiled at Beth.

\------------------------------------------------------

“Did you buy him a lightsaber?” Xander asked Gunn.

“Nope,” the street fighter shook his head, “I bought him that SpongeBob thingy.”

“Who the hell bought him the lightsaber then?” Xander mumbled as he walked past Tony.

Tony just leant back against the couch cushions and smiled.


End file.
